Three Jokes---三則笑話

A speeding driver was pulled over by a policeman. He asked,
"Why was I pulled over when I wasn't the only one speeding."
The policeman replied, "Have you ever been fishing?"
The man responded, "Yes."
"Have you ever caught all the fish?" asked the policeman.

A family was having dinner and the little boy said, "Dad, I don't like the holes in the cheese!"
"Well son, eat the cheese and leave the holes on the side of the plate."

A man awoke one evening to discover prowlers in his storage shed. He immediately called the police, giving his address, to report a possible burglary. The operator at the other end asked "Are they in your house?" He replied they were not, only in his storage shed in back of the house. The operator said there were no cars available at that time. The man thanked the operator, rang off and waited 30 seconds before calling again.
"I just called you about prowlers in my storage shed. Well, you don't have to worry, as I just shot them all dead!" Within seconds there were 3 police cars, an ambulance and fire engine at the scene. After capturing the prowlers red-handed, the policeman asked the caller, "I thought you said you had shot them all?" The man answered, "And I thought you said there were no police available."


警察把超速開車的司機攔了下來。
司機問：“那麽多人開快車，爲什麽只有我被攔下來？”
警察回答說：“你曾經釣過魚嗎？”
“有”
警察問：“你有本事把所有的魚都釣上來嗎？”


一家人在吃晚飯，小孩說：“爸爸，我不喜歡乳酪裏的洞洞。”
“乖兒子，你把乳酪吃掉，把洞洞留在盤邊。”


主人晚上醒來，發現有小偷在儲物室裏。他馬上打電話報警，說可能有偷竊事件，也把地址報上。接綫生在另一端問：“他們在你家中嗎？”他回答說不在，是在屋子後面的儲物室裏。接綫生說現在沒有警力可用，主人就謝過，把電話掛斷。過了三十秒他又再打：“我是剛才打電話說有小偷在儲物室裏的那個人，好了，你們不必擔心了，我把他們全槍斃了。”才一下子，馬上就有三部警車，一輛救護車，一輛救火車到達現場。在捉到那幾個小偷後，一名警員就問主人說：“我以爲你說你把他們全斃了？”那人回答說：“我也以爲你們說警員都沒空。”